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27 November 2010

What To Do If A Tea Party Family Moves Next Door To You

A bit of humor from the "Coffee Party"

First, don’t panic. This is important as these people have guns. Lots of guns.

You are probably worried about property values, neighborhood safety, and a general deterioration of area living conditions. While adjustments to your daily life are certainly important for your general state of quiet and peace, there are things that you can do to lessen the impact.

Step one is to begin keeping a detailed journal. I prefer to write in the morning while my mind is fresh and having had time to quietly mull over the previous day. Writing in the evening will most always lead to a level of frustration and anger from what you have recently seen that will cloud your reflections.

In addition to relating your personal feelings, use the journal to take note of more mundane happenings. Times of vehicle coming and goings, license plate numbers, descriptions of visitors.

Frequency of deliveries such as UPS are also collectable information as most deliveries to such homes will be weapon related. Ammunition, guns, militia equipment…etc. This information will be invaluable to local law enforcement agencies when something happens in your general community. It is only a matter of time.

I can’t recommend a good solid fence enough. These Tea Party People always have dogs. Usually large and dangerous. They are bred for security and often join them in the woods for their militia training. Small neighborhood children are particularly at risk and they must be taught to avoid them.

A good high fence will also help you avoid having to look at the blight your neighborhood will take on during election cycles. Tea Party homes are always covered with obscene racist yard signs. NOTE: it will do no good to place up a competing collection of Progressive candidate signs, as they will only encourage them to place even more.

Start a collection of local phone numbers to Government agencies. Keep them handy.

In addition to the important Fire, Police, and Medical, have names and contact information for such agencies as Public Health, and Code Enforcement.

Tea Party people tend to collect junk cars, trucks, or anything with wheels. Most often in a non working condition. They are quite anti-government and will most probably avoid weekly garbage pickup. Instead waiting until they have accumulated a pile large enough to put into one of the many pick up trucks that will be parked at odd angles up and down the street. They then tend to dump the garbage into secluded natural forests, wetlands etc. If possible, follow them and photograph their dumping. They care not for the environment.

A security system that feeds video directly onto the internet is your best bet to record activities.

Cameras mounted on top of your house that show not only the house, but the street as well. Print out individual photos and create a wall to gather information and place specific information on the individuals.

Talk with others at local Progressive meetings and share information. You will be surprised to find others like yourself that you can compare information with. In this way you will be able to generate a greater base of information and actual Tea Party Cell information. They never act alone.


The Tea Party and Religion go hand in hand. Where you find one…the other is close to follow.

Protecting your children from not only the physical danger of being in close constant contact with Tea Party people, is but one of the many new challenges you will face.

Sundays deserve a particular note of caution. You will begin to notice and have to explain to children about their behavior of dress on Sundays and a general spate of activity at the residence. Tea Party people are fairly “worked up” after attending one of their racist religious meetings. It is a time for them to spread their magic and meet in small groups to plan.

They return to the neighborhood all hoped up and sooner or later will knock on your door and try to hand you or your children their literature. Even going so far as to try and enlist your children into their groups. Often sending their children directly to yours. Be on guard.

By creating a secure area for yourself, and your family you lessen the direct impact a Tea Party family will have on your neighborhood and lives. Talking with your children will alive some of the anxiety you are feeling. Becoming a part of your local Progressive groups, ACLU, local Democratic Party, and others, will provide you with a support group.
You are not alone.

In the end, your journal and constant contact with local government agencies will make living conditions so unbearable in your neighborhood for the Tea Party family that they will move. I am not saying it will be easy, or happen overnight.

President Obama has given us the tools, and the inspiration, to stand up and make change. It is your responsibility as a Progressive to point out injustice and correct it. No matter the cost.

My thoughts are with you.

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