Those that don’t contain the word “but.” Unqualified complaints were more common in relationships that weren’t going well.
Perhaps the most important
difference came down to just one word—“but.” When talking about their
partner’s greatest faults, those in successful relationships tended to
qualify any criticism. Her husband was lazy, but that gave the two of
them reason to laugh. His wife was a terrible cook, but as a result they
ate out a lot. He was introverted, but he expressed his love in other
ways. She was sometimes thoughtless, but that was due to a rather
difficult childhood. That one simple word was able to help reduce the
negative effect of their partner’s alleged faults and keep the
relationship on an even keel.
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